Here yee, Here yee, this court is in session. The Honorable Brad Rodgers overseeing the proceedings.
Representing the defendant in these proceedings and ready to deliver his closing argument to the jury is Green Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
“Thank-you ref. First I would like to point out that I have led my Packers to more points than any team in the league this year, and we have won both our season opening games by more than a touchdown.
“We also come to New Orleans not overconfident, but with a healthy respect for Mr. Brees and his all-time passing stats. But, while some have considered me over-the-hill, I submit that last season I led the Packers to a 13-3 regular season and a showdown in San Francisco for the National Football Conference title.
“Still, I fail to get the notoriety afforded my worthy opponent as the only man in the history of our game to pass for more yards and more touchdowns than even Tom Brady. And yes, Mr. Brees did lead his Saints to an opening win over Brady and his new Tampa Bay teammates this year, but I submit that was while the Buccaneers are still looking to find their rhythm with so many changes.
“As for myself, I took our team to a road win over a Minnesota Vikings squad that was a playoff team last year in our opener, and ran over the Detroit Lions last week like they were roadkill on the freeway. We expect to do the same this Sunday night in the Big Easy, and consider the possibility of anyone backing my opponent while allowing me points on the spread pure folly.
“Thank-you for your attention and I trust you will come back with the only verdict warranted by the facts, the Packers beat the Saints in New Orleans.”
“Representing the plaintiff in this proceeding is New Orleans Saints Quarterback Drew Brees.”
“Thank-you Referee Rodgers. I don’t need to promote my stats, which do find me the all-time National Football League leader in passing yards, touchdowns, and 5,000 yard seasons. It is true that I have the most consecutive 4,000 yard passing seasons and the highest single season completion percentage. Many of you know my title for consecutive games with at least one touchdown pass and the record for consecutive games with 300 or more yards passing. I don’t need to boast that I hold the record for consecutive games with at least 20 completions, consecutive seasons with at least 30 touchdown passes or that I am the holder of the most passing yards in a regular and postseason.
“Nope, that is not why I recommend you come back with a verdict in my team’s favor. I do have a more important and current reason for you to side with the Saints on Sunday, we are coming home off a loss and hungry to get a win. I respect my opponent for his two season opening wins, but if he thinks that victories over the Minnesota Vikings and Detroit Lions are valid evidence to consider him the best choice this week, I submit that the Vikings and Lions came into play today without a win between them.
“I am not here to rest on successes and accomplishments of the past, but to assure you that the focus of my team to end our one-game losing streak and hand Mr. Rodgers and Company their first loss of the season will clearly be on display for all 60 minutes of the game clock tonight.
“Thank-you for your attention, and I humbly submit to you that backing the Saints on Sunday is the only plausible verdict in this case.”
After the jury left for deliberations, a court attendee looked at me and asked what verdict he thought they would return?
No need to guess, the proof will be on full display in primetime, and I think it is an open and shut case.
Qoxhi Picks: New Orleans Saints (-3½) over Green Bay Packers