You know I’m making this stuff up when it begins with me sitting in a bar.
Anyone sitting in a bar these days is either breaking the law or feeding a virus.
But, let’s just say it was a normal time, and I could be sitting in a bar. This is what I suggest could have been said. Three drinks in I’m thinking there is no way that this year’s National Football League Championship Games won’t be the Kansas City Chiefs against the Buffalo Bills and the New Orleans Saints against the Green Bay Packers.
Before I dive into my third Tanqueray and tonic, I’d be explaining to an expanding audience how this is where we are headed, so whatever is between them and that happening this week is by nature a loser.
The Rams beat Seattle in a perfect spot, and now go against a much better and more rested Green Bay team on their home turf. Injuries to Aaron Donald and Jared Goff send Los Angeles into Lambeau Field at less than full strength. How much Donald’s rib injuries will affect his availability or play is debatable, great athletes have been known to overcome daunting odds to play their best.
Goff was pressed into duty earlier than his medical staff would have preferred, and he performed well in the win. But how his surgically repaired thumb on his throwing hand will respond to the Wisconsin cold is cause for concern if considering taking the points. The Rams get seven points, which seemed like a lot more of a concern before my fifth drink.
When you know something is going to happen, I no doubt would be sprouting freely now with an ever increasing spirit in my banter. Nearly positive of my first premise, I am now assuring with added zest during my sixth gin and tonic, how Green Bay is the best bet since the birth of point spreads.
Everyone is laughing when I describe the physical characteristics of a bettor stupid enough to wager on the Rams this week. The bartender tells me this one is on him as I wave for one more. While drinking it, it occurs to me that we should pool everyone’s money in this bar and put it on a two team parlay with the Green Bay Packers and other sure winner, the New Orleans Saints.
Drew Brees matches up against the Buccaneers Tom Brady, as many career touchdowns between them than you couldn’t better with the insertion of any other quarterback in history. Two of the all time best, one is going to win, the other lose. Before I ordered my first drink this seemed a tough call, but by now I’m shouting the virtues of Brees with assurances he can’t lose this one.
Brady with points!
I announce louder than anything else up to this point, and as I finished off my seventh drink with two elongated gulps, I make a final proclamation.
Sounds good, but it’s going to cost it’s backers money.
Those final words roll out of my mouth with a burp of the last syllable.
Obviously, this whole story is made up, because I’m not visiting any bar these days.
When I wake up in the morning, and clear my head and fend off the drag of knowing I drank too much the night before, I’ll go to work on compiling all the numbers on this week’s four Divisional Round games. But I got a couple real solid tips last night from a guy in a bar.
Qoxhi Picks: Green Bay Packers (-7) over Los Angeles Rams